Jumping in Head First
by Spectral-Aspen
Summary: Steve jumps in to things head first one too many times and Darcy decides to take action.


The book mentioned does actually exist (and I in no way shape or form own it or anything Marvel).

I have nothing against Steve, I just saw this book and thought of him for some reason, and had to find a way to get it to him.

-.-.-.- =time skip

* * *

Darcy stared in shock from her spot on the couch as the Avengers all filed in, retuning at last from their monthly Team-Building activity. This month had been a weekend trip to a remote cabin in the woods that Tony owned.

Everyone had minor injuries, something that wasn't unusual after a weekend spent team-building in the woods during winter. What was unusual, however, was the cast that covered Steve's lower left leg.

"Sup guys? Enjoy the winter snow way up in the middle of nowhere? Hot chocolate tastes even better after a snow day. I bet making snowmen is a great teambuilding exercise. On a side note... Why does Steve have a cast on?"

Clint snickered as the others rolled their eyes, Thor just laughed and wandered into the kitchen. "Steve here has, ironically, never ice skated before."

Tony snickered, ignoring Steve's glare, "Once we actually got him out on the ice, something that I can assure you took a very long time, he was very enthusiastic. So enthusiastic, in fact, that he wanted to try _sprinting across the ice in his boots."_

Bucky was standing next to Steve, supporting his injured side with a resigned expression. "I tried to stop him, I really did, but this dumb punk just wouldn't listen to me."

Steve's glare turned sour and he rubbed the back of his head, "I thought it'd be fun."

Darcy eyed his broken leg, "Yeah, loads of fun."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Darcy stared blankly at the newspaper in front of her and sighed, deeply.

 ** _Captain America Rescue Boy Stuck in Tree_**

The picture was of Steve, again in civilian clothes, sitting on a narrow tree branch about 8 feet above the ground with his arms extended towards a small boy, also on the tree branch. The boy's parents were worriedly peering up at the child, clutching each other.

The branch, none too thick to begin with, looked quite ready to drop both Steve and the little boy flat on their asses.

Darcy remembered that day like it was yesterday (because it was). Steve had come back from his walk a little scuffed up, and when she'd inquired about it all he'd told her what happened. All of what happened.

What the newspaper (thankfully) didn't include was what happened after Steve passed the boy down to his father.

The branch, the teeny tiny branch, broke, surprising exactly everybody for some reason.

Luckily he didn't fall on the family, otherwise there'd be a very different headline in the paper. Probably something along the lines of:

 ** _Captain America Rescues Boy Stuck in Tree Only to Break Every Bone in His Body by Then Falling on Him and Crushing Him With all of His Massive Muscles_**

Obviously the actual title would be shorter, but the idea would be the same.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Darcy stared at the monitor, wondering how this could possibly be happening (how on Earth this could possibly be her life).

In the last few months she'd found herself contemplating her life choices more than she ever had before, and for good reason.

On the monitor was footage from a security camera showing Steve, in civilian clothing, saving kittens from a burning pet store.

He'd activated the Avengers Alarm installed on his phone a few minutes ago, and instead of waiting for actual trained firemen to show up, had decided that sprinting in and out of a burning building to rescue all of the little animals would be a good idea.

A few people were helping him, taking the pets from him as he exited, but nobody else was crazy enough to actually go inside.

It was a fairly small pet store, so Steve was done in a few minutes, but by that point most of the store was in flames and when she peered closer at the monitor Darcy could see most of Steve's clothes were singed and one of his pant legs was on fire.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Darcy grinned at Steve, watching gleefully as he unwrapped his present.

Eyeing her with trepidation Steve slowly revealed the box hidden underneath 7 layers of Avengers themed wrapping (Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Winter Soldier, and Captain America respectively).

With a sense of impending doom Steve pulled the box completely free of the wrapping.

The first thing Steve noticed was that the box was a very attention grabbing red, and that it had a stipe of alternating yellow and black strips down each side in a manner that somehow managed to signify danger.

Then he saw what was written on it.

 **Dangerous Pack for Idiots** stood out on the front in three different fonts, followed by _67 crazy projects for reckless fools_ near the bottom. At the very bottom was a black box with writing inside that cheerfully stated _Includes book, poster, stickers, and plenty of bad advice!_

Steve gave Darcy a _look,_ one that she easily ignored. "Flip it over! You have to read the back!"

Steve flipped it over and read the first part of the summary.

 **Are you a dangerous idiot? Are you out of your tiny mind? Are you a damned fool and proud of it?**

He sighed, "Darcy, I don't think-"

She jumped up, cutting him off. "It even came with stickers!" She reached forwards and stuck a rectangular sticker to his forehead. With a grin and a step back Darcy admired her handiwork, whipping out her phone to take a photo. "I know I got it for you, but once I saw the sticker I couldn't help myself."

She turned her phone so Steve could see the screen. On it was a photo of him, looking very resigned, but what caught his attention was the yellow sticker.

In the middle was a triangle with a biohazard symbol inside, the words **Danger** across the top and **Idiot** along the bottom framed it.

Darcy grinned, "Now when you do dumb and reckless things people will be able to see it coming, and won't be so surprised when it happens!"

At that moment Bucky came walking in looking exhausted and sweaty and like he'd just gone a few rounds with Thor, but when he turned to look at Steve and Darcy his whole body lit right up and his grin was larger than any Steve had seen this side of the century.

"It's your own fault, really," Darcy said, hands on her hips as she looked down at Steve, "you already completed on of the projects in the book! It's what made me think of you when I flipped through it."

Bucky snickered and walked over, "I can think of a few things Stevie here has done that could be in there."

Darcy grabbed the pack, pulled out the book, and flipped rapidly through the pages. Sure enough, on page 43, there was a project labeled **Running on Ice.**

Bucky's grin somehow got even wider, "It's like it was written just for you, Stevie."

* * *

Thoughts?

This link *should* have a few images of the book and some of the projects (including the **Running on Ice** page.)

www.

amazon

.ca/Dangerous-Pack-Idiots-Projects-Reckless/dp/1853759376


End file.
